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I wrote fic...how odd

For the first time in...well I don't want to look how long, I've written some fic. This time, it's for the new Sherlock Holmes film. This is probably pretty cracky and silly, but the plot bunny just popped up...

Title: A Quiet Dinner with Sherlock Holmes is Never Quiet
Rating: G
Notes: Blame kattius for me writing this. She urged it over Twitter.

Just for once Watson wished that when he went out for dinner with his future wife and his dearest friend, things would end well. Of course, with Sherlock Holmes things were never that easy. They had all arrived on time and enjoyed a delicious meal. The conversation had been polite, but friendly. Mary appeared to have forgiven Holmes for his previous behaviour when they had eaten together. To add to that Holmes seemed to be quite enjoying her company as well. He regaled her with tales of his past adventures which she seemed to find quite interesting. All three of them spent much of the evening laughing together and thoroughly enjoying themselves. When the meal was over, a band began to play at one end of the hall. A space had been cleared to allow couples to dance together as the night wore on. Mary had, of course, insisted on a dance with Watson. Agreeing to this had been his downfall for the evening.

Stepping up to the cleared space, he had happened to glance back at Holmes, alone at his table. Watson couldn’t quite decide if he was sulking or just bored at being left alone. Either way, he did not look very happy. At first, he just ignored his friends pointed looks as he danced with Mary. They both continued to talk and laugh as they moved across the floor. They had both drunk a little too much, so it was certainly more moving than gliding across the floor. Some of the more elderly ladies sat around the edge were fixing their eyes upon the couple. They all looked deeply unimpressed by such behaviour, it didn’t seem proper. Watson tried to straighten himself up, which only made Mary laugh more.

“Do you not like the old ladies glaring at us John?” she whispered to him. He looked down at her, and the almost mischievous smile she wore. She was a good woman and he was thankful for that.

“Not particularly,” he sighed. “Nor can I abide that sad look on Holmes’ face.” He spun Mary around a little so she could see their table again. She looked on Holmes, who seemed more interested in the wine now than watching the dancers. But she had to confess, he did look quite sad sitting their alone. For one of the few times in her life, she felt sorry for him.

“Perhaps we should get him dance. Do you think he would dance with me for a while? Might it cheer him up?”

Watson considered this for a moment as he looked at Holmes again. If they didn’t get him away from the table soon he would probably drink all the wine on the table. He didn’t like the idea of having to escort a drunken Holmes back home. Again. “I think that’s a wonderful idea,” he said with a smile.

They walked across to the table, their arms linked, but Holmes was paying no attention. It took Watson clearing his throat right in front of him to get his attention.

“Bored already Watson? A shame, you looked quite marvellous up there,” Holmes slurred at them.

“Perhaps then,” began Watson, “you would like to cut in?”

Holmes looked at him in confusion for a moment, but then began to smile.

“Wonderful idea Watson, I think a dance is certainly in order.” He jumped up from his seat, but completely ignored Mary as she stepped towards him. Instead, he made his way straight to Watson.

“Mary is standing their Holmes,” Watson said as he motioned towards her. Holmes turned to her, looked her up and down and then turned back to Watson.

“I am drunk Watson, I am certainly not blind. Now, shall we dance?”

Before he could protest, Holmes had put a hand on Watson’s waist and seized his arm. Before he could push him off, Holmes had dragged him out towards the other couples in some kind of mad drunken jig. Holmes whirled around the floor to some tune only present in his own mind. Watson found himself just being dragged around the floor too shocked to say or do anything. The shock he felt was nothing compared to the other people in the room. The other dancers were forced to dart out of the way, the diners at their tables stared in confusion. The dear elderly ladies clasped at their bags and glasses, gasping in horror. One proclaimed loudly that she was going to faint, but no one seemed to pay her any attention. Everyone was too distracted by the bizarre spectacle before them. Two men were dancing like fools across the floor, even the band had stopped playing to watch.

At the table, Mary didn’t know what to make of it. She couldn’t decide if she should be insulted at being turned down or amused at the sight of her future husband being dragged around the floor like some petulant girl at her first dance. Holmes appeared to be having great fun with it all, which made her lean more towards amusement. But the fun was soon cut short as some of the waiters intervened and broke the pair apart. Watson quickly stumbled back to table while Holmes decided to have some stern words with waiters for ruining his evening of dancing.

“I think, at some point tonight, I will kill him. Yes, that would solve so many of my problems,” Watson muttered to Mary when he had come back across to her. She could only break into the most unladylike giggles at him. Holmes sashayed across to them both, a wide smile on his face.

“It does appear, my dear friends, that we have been asked to leave the establishment.

Apparently our dancing has caused some kind of outrage. One of those old women has nearly fainted or something. I must say, I do find that hard to believe. Well, never mind, on we go.” Holmes spun around and bowed to the still staring crowd. “Good night to you all, I hope you have had a pleasant dinner.”

Most of the crowd continued to just stare as he walked away. The old ladies muttered amongst themselves and gestured at the trio with their bags. Watson stared around in total confusion as to what had just happened. One minute, he had just been enjoying a nice dinner, now he was being thrown out for some kind of disorderly conduct. At last, he turned round and began to walk away, Mary at his side trying to hide her smile at the whole situation.

“Mary,” he sighed as they went to join Holmes at the door. “Let’s never have dinner out with Holmes. Ever again.”

“Oh but John dear,” Mary said to him with a slight pout. “We were having so much fun. And you are both such fine dancers.” She began to laugh again, though she was sure she’d be horrified by it all in the morning. Holmes just smiled at them with that roguish grin that he always wore when he was being devious. Watson just shook his head, praying to God that some day he could have a nice quiet dinner out. Just once.


Dec. 30th, 2009 11:30 pm (UTC)
I thank you for this wonderful response. ^__^